Clothes-shopping is fun?

(breaking all the rules!)




Disdressed

Invited to 1st boyfriend’s, 2nd wedding.
Nice! But now it’s dress-buying I’m dreading.
My usual attire is jeans and shirt.
Once in a while, to church, I’ll wear a skirt.

Those hemlines hold me hostage from the start.
Too long just drags, too short--I look a tart.
To sleeve, or not to sleeve, the question sits--
Must hide the flabby flesh beneath my pits.

The fabric is a feature pondered long,
Cuz clingy stuff enhances all that’s wrong.
Each bump and roll's revealed, rather than hid.
I stick to stiff, of jersey I'm well rid.

Next, collar issues get me in the neck.
Too deep – we get E.T., too high – Star Trek.
Yet boobies bared don’t matter, mine are small--
Décolletage on moi’s no thrill at all.

Lately them that’s there are southward bound.
The cleavage that once was cannot be found
Without a push-up from the waist below,
Which every day, appears somewhat to grow.

So ladies if you’re shopping here’s my tip:
Don’t try to be a model or look hip.
The dress-designers haven’t us in mind.
Choose a smart suit and hide that big behind.

Kathleen Mortensen©2008